Jena (_dahling_) wrote in hhschoir,
Jena
_dahling_
hhschoir

Musician Humor Part Three

You Know You've Been in Chorus too Long When...

When you hear music you start marking time.

You instantly start tapping the rhythm to ANY song you hear.

You can remember the order of flats and sharps easier then your name.

When you CAN sight-read.

All letters past G are not important.

All numbers past eight are not important.

You were never great in math, but you can convert time signatures (IE: 4/4 into 2/4) without thinking twice.

Your math teacher knows the only way you'll ever understand anything is if she relates it to music.

You point out the key changes in songs on the radio.

You lament about the inadequate quality of the voice singing on the radio in your friend's car, and vow to make them listen to your music when you get your own car.

A good excuse for anything is, "Its a musician thing."

All your friends are in chorus.

Half the people you know play at least the piano fairly well.

When non-chorus friends ask you how your life is, you say, "OH! Our director is such a..." or "We just won straight superiors at state!" or "I HAVE to tell you about what Justin did on the bus this time!!!"

You accidentally call your director "Mom."

You repeat calling her Mom until she posts a sign in the chorus room that says, "This is NOT your bedroom. I am NOT YOUR MOTHER. I will NOT pick up after you."

You'd rather DIE then go to class or a rehearsal without a sharpened pencil, full water bottle, a bottle of Tylenol, your Music, a WARM sweatshirt, and an empty bladder.

Everyone will have a crush or go out with at least one other person in chorus.

One of your favorites past times is gossiping about the official chorus couples.

You become slightly paranoid when you realize you and your boyfriend are the only official chorus couple.

You know that if a chorus person is with someone who isn't in chorus, no one cares. Unless of course, that person used to be in chorus, and everyone wonders why they left.

You know the good male-female duets are ALWAYS for tenors and sopranos.

You know not to bother looking for decent tenor/alto or soprano/bass duets, because they don't exist.

You have had to transcribe a tenor/soprano duet for soprano/alto because there are NO good duets that have never been done.

You know that decent sopranos are a dime a dozen, but directors have to beg to convince halfway alright tenors not to quit.

You know you'll freeze unless you bring a sweatshirt.

It doesn’t matter how long you've been in chorus-you never learn that lesson.

You disliked the drama teacher for not casting you in the musical.

You disliked him anyway.

You are no longer shy of changing on the bus.

You have learned the difference between Chorus guys and Drama guys- Chorus guys will look when you get dressed; drama guys won't.

You know to do all your doctors appointments, surgeries, and getting sick BEFORE CHRISTMAS. You won't have time afterwards.

You know if you want to stay out of trouble, avoid sitting/standing on the back row, because that’s where they all congregate. This also applies to bus trips.

You have learned every part to all the songs each group sings for Festival because you've heard them so many times.

When necessary, you have carried your entire section.

You catch mistakes the director doesn’t and make SURE they are fixed before she does.

You have held after school rehearsals with others in your section who actually know what they are doing to drown out those who don't.

You have learned at least your part to all your songs by Mid-February.

You know a substitute doesn’t always mean study hall, but class is more fun without the director.

Within five minutes after every concert, you know what went wrong, who screwed up, who the director will kill first, write her sermon on concert etiquette she'll give first thing Monday morning the next week and where you're going afterwards.

If something out of the ordinary happens, slowly walk away, don't ask questions, and whatever you do don't tell the director.

You know to drill into the freshmen one of the most Important Rules of Chorus-If you don't know it, DON'T SING.

You could write a novel about the things you have done, seen, and heard about on bus trips.

You know at least three different Games to play on the bus.

By Districts, every freshman has at least HEARD about The Game and can play it better then some of the seniors.

You know the REAL purpose of those bus bathrooms.

You know its possible to fit half the bus into the last five rows.

You have learned its pointless to bring your portable CD player, because you won’t use it.

You have many “you had to be there” pictures of your resident choir clown, or you know who to ask for a copy.

Your non-chorus friends have told stories about the stuff you've done on trips.

When meeting alumni, people always say, "So YOU'RE the guy/girl who..." and they go on about something they did on a trip.

You proudly lament about that dress from the first day you get it as a Freshman till the day you graduate.

The director is tired of hearing your Dress Laments.

You have as many Dress Laments as the director has Sermons.

You've worn it to take your brother trick or treating, but you wouldn't DARE wear it to a costume party.

You've worn it to a funeral.

You've worn it when you do a project on the Salem Witch Trials.

You decide to keep it after you graduate, because it holds so many memories of your years in chorus.

You can still remember most of the songs from Freshman year, and on your last trip on your senior year, you and your fellow seniors sing them.

You know “a capella” is actually Latin for “three to five months of hell.”

You know to appreciate the times when you sit while singing-it won't happen very often.

A reason to love sight reading - you're usually sitting.

You dream of one day opening a concert hall.

When you actually enjoy going to rehearsals.

When you are alone, you suffocate cause there's no one telling you when to breathe.

When your director is yelling "STOP TALKING" in the general direction of the top row Sopranos, it doesn’t phase you anymore-you've heard it way too much.

When you sit in the auditorium during state, everyone else laughs at your chorus dresses.

You breathe a sigh of relief when you realize your dresses aren't as bad as some of the others around the county.

You want to kill your director for making you sit there in the auditorium listening to BAD choruses sing without eating lunch first.

You are NEVER without a pen and a pad of paper for note passing reasons.

While everyone else wants to kill the other choruses, you want to kill your director.

You know that if you look at the judges you WILL forget your music-DON'T DO IT!

You know that when there are three songs in one packet you will probably only sing one of them.

You have allowed others to use your Disney candle as horns.

YOU have used others Disney candles as horns.

Whenever you do a buddy search, you only use words like "Musician" "Chorus" and "Singing".

At least one screen name or e-mail address has something to do with music.

You and your extended group of friends have already created a network of who will be rooming with who for state.

Within five minutes of arriving at a hotel, you have everyone's room number.

You have a t-shirt from every place you've gone with chorus.

That collection is getting very extensive.

You can't remember a time when chorus didn't go to Applebees, Chili’s, or Denny's after a concert.

At the awards ceremony, you realize you don’t have friends to thank-only your second family of chorus members.

You can put on your dress, makeup, tie your sash, and lament about your dress in less then two minutes.

No matter how much you hated your director during festival, resented the fact you never got into the ensembles, lamented about your dress, and wanted to KILL the composer of the music, you decide to go into music as your college major. After all, something that has changed your life and given you so many memories has to do the same for others, and you wouldn't dare think of denying someone else of those things.
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